The Melbourne
Experience 2002

And this year, for us, would be special. Firstly, in Mark Webber there would be an Australian on the grid for the first time since 1994 - even if he is in a crap car (but Aussies love an underdog, anyway). Secondly, we had been promised a short visit into the inner sanctuary of F1, the Formula One Paddock, and a garage tour with one of the teams. This had the makings of a weekend to remember; an experience about which long-winded gloating articles such as this one are written!

When Lew and Fox humiliatingly bailed out at the last minute (two days before we were due to leave), it looked like we'd be in a spot of bother, our cheap-skate non-refundable tickets not worth the paper they were printed on. But the administrators kept Ansett going over the weekend before ceasing all flights, and we were saved (even if thousands of jobs weren't). Where's Paul Stoddart when you need the bloke? Any chance Charles Nickerson and Phoenix might try to buy Ansett now?

A marshal relaxes as a Minardi rushes past (left) while Schumi, DC, Ralf and JPM entertain the fans (right).

It was a pity, though, that Melbourne didn't turn on the optimal weather for the weekend; it was grey and overcast for the afternoon F1 practice session. And so upon its completion we headed indoors to the GP Expo, a pavilion where you can get up close and personal with a collection of old F1 cars done up in 2002 liveries, plus browse a well-stocked F1 bookshop, buy autographs and collectibles at outrageous cost and ignore the Malaysian Tourism stand, where a couple of guys were desperately (and unsuccessfully) trying to hookwink people into coming to KL to fill their vacuous grandstands.

This pavilion was full of timelessly impressive cars - ranging from replicas of machines from the 1890s, to 1950s F1 glories, to top-of-the-line modern-day Ferraris, Maseratis, Alfa Romeos, Jaguars, Mercs and even the odd Porsche thrown in. But soon the clock struck 5.30pm, and, upon meeting Peter (who handed over the Holy Grail of the F1 pleb, our electronic paddock passes) we set off to see exactly what all the hyperbolic fuss was about!

The undiscovered country beckons (left). Enoch and Peter Slater pose just inside the paddock (right).

There are small picnic-like areas behind each garage, with tables and umbrellas set up and white picket fences separating the teams from each other. Behind that is a walkway, beyond which Bridgestone and Michelin have their workspaces, and that's it. Peter informed us that at the European Grands Prix, the presence of the teams' motorhomes makes the whole area much larger. Passing Felipe Massa on the right, we arrived at the BAR area, the team responsible for our passes.

From there we got a good look at the mechanics working on all three cars, the front wings, with their protective clip-ons securely in place, and had a good gawk at the paddock club above and along the pitlane where the other teams were working feverishly preparing for qualifying the following day. Meanwhile, the lady who was giving us our tour accidentally sent a large piece of bodywork from the spare car crashing to the ground! A good thing it wasn't needed on Sunday...

F1 Rejects with Olivier Panis (left), and with the Aussie mascot at the back of the Minardi garage (right).

Entering the 'real world' once more, we'd only just sat down when Jacques Villeneuve himself exited the garage, accompanied by Craig Pollock. At first we couldn't quite grasp why Pollock was allowed within a stone's throw of BAR (given that David Richards had not-so-happily replaced him as team boss), but Peter reminded us that Craig was Jacques' manager. A strange world indeed, this Formula One. Still, and not to appear ungrateful for the wonderful experience BAR had given us, Villeneuve was strikingly short!!

Our time almost expired, we wandered back to have our photo taken by the Ferrari garage entrance, spotting Renault's Mike Gascoyne, F1 Racing Magazine photographer Darren Heath and Michelin's Pierre Dupasquier along the way. After saying our thank yous and goodbyes to Peter (and reluctantly relinquishing our passes), leaving was a surreal experience. We were half a metre behind Jean Todt as (after talking a bit to his teammates), both he and his garish Marlboro-red trousers exited the paddock, with Heinz-Harald Frentzen and de la Rosa following us out of the gates. But whereas they got swamped by autograph seekers, we were disappointingly left to pass unhindered.

Stunt bikers (left), and the RAAF Roulettes (right) do their bit to keep the crowd entertained.

Meanwhile, the RAAF Roulettes had performed a breathtaking aerial routine despite low cloud cover, the stunt bikers were performing mindless tricks (when not waiting for the precautionary ambulance to arrive on the scene), and the V8 Supercars with its Holden vs Ford macho continued to show why it's one of the world's most competitive touring car series - among the protagonists were F1 reject veteran Larry Perkins, and ex-F1 tester but V8 debutant Max Wilson. Both were well back in the pack!

Next up were Aussie touring car legends Peter Brock and Dick Johnson, and their sons, James Brock and Steven Johnson, who were talking about their exhibition 'family grudge match' which saw them compete in three 4 lap races against each other over the GP weekend (Enoch got a photo with and autograph from Brocky!). Aussie Jaguar F1 test-driver James Courtney then came to talk about how badly the Leaping Cat were doing, before Toyota test-driver Ryan Briscoe appeared, having just taken a brilliant 11th to 1st win in the Nations Cup support race.

Enoch meets hero Peter Brock (left), while Jamie catches up with Ryan Briscoe (right).

Sunday saw us spend most of the day perched in our grandstand seats on Turn 9. It was again a damp start to the day, which saw greasy conditions in the F1 warm-up, and for the support races. The Mini Cooper Celebrity Race (curiously devoid of big-time celebrities) was popular if a little mayhem-free this year, and there was a highly suspicious dead-heat in the deciding Brocks vs Johnsons exhibition race! Ryan Briscoe led the final Nations Cup race before something in the car broke and he wrote-off his A$750,000 Ferrari 360 Michellotto, while Craig Lowndes (another on the Tom Walkinshaw discard list) won the final V8 race for Ford. By F1 race-time, the sun was out and the track as dry as a bone - the scene was set for a great race.

Without Mika Salo's challenge in the final laps, the crowd may not have celebrated Webber's 5th place in quite the same way. Sure it was a hugely lucky achievement (of Bradbury proportions), but Webber's brilliant refusal to buckle under phenomenal pressure, piloting a car with none of the so often taken-for-granted technical aids, made it seem he had earned his 2 points. And he had - the crowd went absolutely nuts when he crossed the finish line and embarked upon a snail-like lap of honour!

Briscoe's demolished Ferrari gets a lift back to the pits (left), and Mark Webber soaks up the applause (right).

One mechanic, clearly an Aussie, had a boxing kangaroo in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other, which he proceeded to spray over the cheering mob assembled on the pit wall, us included! As we left the circuit, we came across a deep indentation in the track, where Ralf Schumacher's Williams had landed, in the act of making all the ongoing celebrations possible!

Our flight back on Monday morning was one of the last flights ever from Melbourne to Sydney for Ansett, a company that had been part of the Australian aviation landscape for over 70 years. Truly, for better and worse, it felt as though we had lived through a weekend from a parallel universe. It had been an unforgettable few days, and if the rest of this season is even half as exciting, we'll be in for a great year. Here's hoping 2003 will be even better...

Gian Carlo Minardi phones home with the good news (left). F1 Rejects on track at the race's end (right).